Waxies' Dargle

Says my aul' wan to your aul' wan
"Will ye come to the Waxies' Dargle?"
Says your aul' wan to my aul' wan,
"Sure I haven't got a farthing.
I went up to to Monto town
To see uncle McArdle
But he wouldn't give me a half a crown
For to go to the Waxies' Dargle."

Says your aul' wan to my aul' wan
"Will ye go to the galway races?"
Says your aul' wan to my aul' wan,
"I'll hump the aul' man's braces.
I went down to Capel Street
To the jew man moneylenders
But they wouldn't give me a couple of bob
For the aul' man's red suspenders."

Says my aul' wan to your aul' wan
"We have no beef or mutton
But if we go down to Monto town
We might get a drink for nuttin'"
Here's a nice piece of advice
I heard from an aul' fishmonger:
"When food is scarce and you see the hearse
You'll know you have died of hunger.

What will ya have?! I'll have a pint!
I'll have a pint with you, sir!
And if one of ya' doesn't order soon
We'll be thrown out of the boozer!