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It was half past nine on the tenth of May,
Which was Eric Thompson’s wedding day,
He was all dressed up when the phone call came
Saying, ‘Your bride’s run off with another dame.’

He was shellshocked, stunned and well confused,
From his well greased hair to his well shined shoes,
As he sat there not knowing what to think
He decided he would have a drink.

He drank down one, then he drank down two,
Then three and four - then five will do,
Then six for luck and seven for fun,
Then eight to load his father’s gun.

He had morbid thoughts holding cold blue steel,
Should he end his life? It was so unreal,
Then he thought again of his bride to be
And he said, “That’s The Great Escape for me!”

You can find him sat in the Bull and Crown,
He’s the happiest man in the sad old town,
“I’ve not a worry in the world,” you can hear him say,
All because Melinda turned out gay.